Sex to the Fifth Degreee

I ordered a bathing suit the other day and I took pictures of myself I it. Damn I need to join the gym. I’ve decided that when I return from my trip overseas I am definitely joining weight watchers and the gym.. God I need to lose some weight and get this ass tight again. My six pack had turned into a keg and my ass has spread like warm cream cheese. It’s time to make a change. I told my girlfriend about this and she says that she frankly doesn’t look at me to much so she never noticed, I personally think that is a crock of bullshit. But hey to each his own, I can’t knock her for that. Because if she would have said anything to me about my weight I probably would have told her to kiss my ass. I was thinking about my sexual history today and I have realized that I have had sex with 5 men in the past two years and that is not good at all. At this rate I’m gonna be in the double digits pretty soon. What is even worse is that I don’t remember most of their names and why we are not seeing each other any more. I pretend like AI choose to fuck em and leave them when in realty I am just a little girl afraid of getting hurt once again by a man that I allow myself to love. It’s a trip but all the men I have loved have wronged me in some way. What worse is that I do not blame them for it, I blame myself for allowing it. Even though I was just a little girl. Well I have grown up into a beautiful woman. But that little girl inside of me still cries for the love that was taken from her a long time ago. I think this is why I fuck em and leave. I hurt them before they can ever hurt me. I’m sure this is a future tarea of interest for my future therapist. So I will stop there on that topic.
Ok well maybe not, Just let me say that I do one day want to be loved and in love and married with a child. That is my hearts desire. I think I will make a wonderful mother and a beautiful wife.